Do you find yourself saying you’re sorry repeatedly even when there is nothing to be sorry about? Saying your sorry is common among both male and females, but studies have found men apologize less frequently than women. The reason given is that women may consider certain situations more offensive than their male counterpart.
Saying we’re sorry when we’ve done something wrong is completely acceptable and warranted. And just because women may tend to apologize more than men, it’s neither right nor wrong, just different.
But as women, we need to consider if our knee jerk reaction to all this apologizing is necessary? Over-apologizing may leave us feeling weak, unsure, and undeserving. All these emotions can cause a lack of confidence and underscore our insecurities.
Let’s explore some strategies to help us kick the habit of saying “sorry” when it’s not necessary:
The first step toward change is becoming aware of what behaviors you wish to modify.
Create a list of what makes you want to say I’m sorry and instead replace it with a phrase you can use instead. Excuse me, pardon me, after you, etc.
Pause and Think
Before you say, I’m sorry, take a moment to ask yourself if you did something wrong? If not, no apology is necessary. If you did do something wrong, skip the sorry and offer a solution for the mistake.
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If you don’t understand something, there is no need to apologize. Instead, ask for further clarification to help you better understand the situation at hand.
Chrome has an extension called Just Not Sorry that helps you write emails without using words that may hurt your credibility.
I’m not saying to never say sorry and taking “I’m sorry” out of your daily language may take some practice. But doing so will help make your sincere apologies more heartfelt and empathic both to the recipient and yourself.